[There will always be a question behind his every action. He can sense Xichen's concern and it burrows between them, pushing them apart no matter how they embrace. Meng Yao chafes at anything standing between them, so of course he will forget any pride he has left and tell Xichen - this one man - the truth.]
He has sought out my company. I think he must pity me. [He smiles, a little pained.] Sizhui is kind and I have him to thank for my archery lessons. They have helped me strengthen my arm.
[Pushing up his sleeve, he shows the muscles.]
I know he was living with Jin Ling - and I know they were close. This will be difficult for him.
[ Xichen once thought that nothing stood between them, but that had not been true since Meng Yao broke the faith of Nie Mingjue, had it. Because there had been all the things that Meng Yao hid, all the things that he lied about, all the blood that he shed. What stood between them piled higher and wider with each passing year. Xichen knows now that it never let them bet close.
Does Meng Yao? Will he know, how deep a chasm he had carved himself between them?
But this shred of truth now helps. Xichen doesn't let go, only closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly. A-Yuan, ah, A-Yuan. what are you thinking. ]
Please be gentle with him, Meng Yao. I am sure he thinks he knows what he is doing, but do we ever?
I am glad that others who know do also understand that isolation and hatred cannot heal.
I won't hurt him. [And not because he would have Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji dragging him through the streets for a public execution. No, he likes Lan Sizhui and he appreciates that he is willing to be open with him.
Of course no Lan can replace Xichen. Meng Yao cradles the other man's face between his hands, thumbs stroking his cheeks.]
You know what you are doing, Xichen. The fool was always me. Please don't be confused.
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no subject
He has sought out my company. I think he must pity me. [He smiles, a little pained.] Sizhui is kind and I have him to thank for my archery lessons. They have helped me strengthen my arm.
[Pushing up his sleeve, he shows the muscles.]
I know he was living with Jin Ling - and I know they were close. This will be difficult for him.
no subject
Does Meng Yao? Will he know, how deep a chasm he had carved himself between them?
But this shred of truth now helps. Xichen doesn't let go, only closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly. A-Yuan, ah, A-Yuan. what are you thinking. ]
Please be gentle with him, Meng Yao. I am sure he thinks he knows what he is doing, but do we ever?
I am glad that others who know do also understand that isolation and hatred cannot heal.
no subject
Of course no Lan can replace Xichen. Meng Yao cradles the other man's face between his hands, thumbs stroking his cheeks.]
You know what you are doing, Xichen. The fool was always me. Please don't be confused.